It’s easy to get caught up in the everyday grind. You fall into a monotonous routine of charging through each day, head down, focused on the task in front of you and stressing about the list of to-dos that need to be accomplished before the day’s end. Caught up in the immediate mess and ensuing stress, you forget to look further down the road in order to anticipate the future and where you want to be when you get there. So take a moment of pause. Each and every day, stop, reflect, and be mindful. Consider that, despite the chaos, are you really happy or are you just trudging through?
If the answer is the latter, then you need to stop and reconsider your life choices: what makes you happy and what doesn’t? Sure, life isn’t always going to be easy. There are bumps in the road, and some points of your life will inevitably suck; people die, relationships end, you get fired, and things go wrong. But the journey in full is beautiful and wonderful; it’s up to you to ensure that it’s worthwhile and not tragic. So if you’re not enjoying the life that you’re living, what needs to be changed? Maybe you need a therapist. Or maybe you just need to learn to ask for what you want.
It’s such a simple idea and yet so hard to do. Why is there such a struggle to vocalize your desires? Maybe it’s the fear of a difficult conversation, or the potential for conflict: is this going to upset someone and if so what’s the potential fallout? Could it be a fear of judgment and you’re worried that other people will think negatively of you? Do you struggle to be assertive and you tell yourself that asking for what you want makes you burdensome or non-gratuitous? Are you too busy worrying about what everyone else wants? Take some time to think about what often gets in your way. Recognize that you can aspire for more while still being grateful for what you have; the two ideas are not incongruous. You only have one life, and you should be living it for you.
It’s called the law of attraction. There are probably hundreds of thousands of books, blogs, and podcasts that dissect this idea. To put it simply, when you are able to vocalize and visualize something, it’s much more likely to come to fruition; the universe is basically designed to give you what you want. For that very same reason, when you sit ruminating about all the bad things that can happen to you, that’s often when your life goes wrong. Instead, you need to put your energy towards something positive and ask for it. Whether it’s a job opportunity, a new relationship, or the desire to try something new, talk about it!
When those around you know what you want, they can help you achieve it. If your coworker knows what your dream job is, they’re going to notify you of a potential job opportunity if they hear about it. If your friends know you’re interested in dating, when they meet someone who they think you would hit it off with, they’re going to help connect the two of you. If you tell people you’re interested in learning a new hobby, you’ll probably find out that someone you know enjoys the same thing and is willing to teach you. Life is all about interconnectivity, and things have a way of working out if you allow people to help you. It sounds crazy, but everyone gets by with a little help from their friends.
Stop getting in your own way. Your biggest limiting factor is always going to be you and your perception of reality. If you want something, but you don’t think you deserve it or you are incapable of asking for it, it’s likely not going to happen. So buck up. You do deserve it and it’s okay to ask. Start today. Write it down and put it out into the universe. What do you want?